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KINK RESOURCES


Being a macrophile or microphile is not a choice, so instead of denying ourselves, let’s explore instead! With a lack of resources specifically on size kink, we hope the catered guide below will help you along your personal journey!


BEFORE WE DIVE IN...

Hello and welcome to Daddy’s Dollhouse Size-kink Guide, written by me, Jitensha! I want to start this guide off by being transparent with those reading this - I am NOT a licensed sex therapist. However, as a volunteer, speaker and organizer in kink spaces, I speak with A LOT of kinky people as well as with kink-aware therapists and other kinky professionals. Navigating a kink relationship myself, I see a lot of patterns among people like us that we can try and avoid or treat.

While I’ve written this guide myself, I can’t take full credit for all the ideas expressed, as many of these practices are based on the rules and principles built by the BDSM community who have paved the way for us to explore and practice kink safely. While I encourage you to go out and further educate yourself on BDSM and kink-play, this guide should provide boiled down points in an easily digestible size kink themed package. These tips are suggestions that might not help everyone, but should hopefully help many of you!

While I’ve written this guide from my perspective as someone in a monogamous hetero relationship, and as a tiny woman, thus ocassionaly using pronouns that reflect my experience as someone into M/f, this information should be generally helpful for anyone with a size kink, or even people interested in other unrelated kinks - Please enjoy the read..it’s a long one!

- Jitensha


1. DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP

It’s easy for someone with a size kink to think of themselves as sexually damaged goods for having to live out their lifetime with such a bizarre fantasy. But thankfully here, at Daddy’s Dollhouse you are not alone and resources are available! Having a fetish was not your choice, and so it shouldn’t be a reason to self-loathe - it’s not your fault! Sexuality forms fairly early in life, so as babies, we learned to associate certain things or experiences with arousal. Maybe it was an adult playfully threatening to eat you whole. Or an observation of the largest adult in the room making all the demands. We don’t know what exactly triggers these fascinations, but regardless we made certain connections as babies and toddlers, that through puberty, those things that excited us as young children took on a new, fetishized meaning.

Having a fetish does not mean it is a disease or mental disorder! Which shouldn’t be a surprise when many of you reading this may live quiet, private lives separate from your kinky fantasies. You may have not had the opportunity yourself, but if you had the chance to visit a kink convention, you’d be sure to meet all sorts of people. They may be your Doctor, or children’s Teacher, the local grocery store cashier or your friendly neighbor. You might be surprised to see crowds that are diverse in race/ethnicity, gender, age and interests. That’s because fetishes really can form in anyone! So next time you feel alone, remember that having a fetish is actually more common than you think!


2. FIND A SUPPORTIVE OUTLET THAT WORKS FOR YOU

One of the first really challenging hurdles for any person with a fetish is to get a hold of your feeling of shame. Shame is an extremely common feeling throughout the size kink community. Ask any macrophile or microphile and more than likely they will sympathize with their own stories of deep shame. This shame could be caused by comments made from family, friends, partners or people in your community. It could be religious or moral pressures. Or possibly the passive observation in life, media, etc that the way we love is just... different. The benefit of having a safe space to verbally share or explore your kink is that those social and moral expectations are not there. A supportive community will listen without judgement and offer support. Without those barriers, you can express your thoughts freely and shame can finally loosen its grip on you.

Joining Daddy’s Dollhouse is already a positive first step - plus it’s FREE! However, we may not be able to provide the personalized and professional help that you can get from a Kink-Aware therapist. If you’ve never heard about these types of therapists, they work specifically with individuals like ourselves and can help you manage and better understand your mind, sexually and romantically. My husband and I both found our kink-aware therapists at Therapy Den, but feel free to google the term “Kink-aware therapist” as there are lots of options nowadays!

Due to covid, most of these therapists offer telehealth services, so you don’t even need to leave home. Most of these therapists also take insurance, or offer bundled packages for those paying out of pocket (For example: $180 month/4 sessions). Kinky seniors may also be happy to learn that some of these unique therapists accept Medicare too!

I know finding mental health help can be scary because there is a stigma. My husband and I, being both Latino, we knew nobody growing up who saw a therapist, and we struggled a lot with making this first step. My family made therapy out to be something for the “locos” out there. So, for most of my life, it was easier for me to play “normal” than to engage and explore my feelings.

It’s very, very scary to be vulnerable and confront feelings you enjoy but don’t exactly morally agree with. However, if you are sexually or romantically functioning with rolls of duct tape under your hood, are you really demonstrating you’re in control, or are you just keeping up appearances for the outward appearance of happiness? If shame is debilitating you or affecting your relationship(s), or your own personal happiness, then the best thing for your mental health is to empower yourself by trying to figure out how your brain ticks!


3. WORK TOWARDS SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Finding pride in something you’ve promised to never tell a soul about can seem like an impossibility. Sharing your kink will always be up to you. However, because your sexuality is so innately part of you, it only benefits you to try and better understand it. Trust me when I say that getting rid of the weight of shame and guilt can be a really freeing and transformative experience!

While I know M/f type content has its own stigma, I’d like to remind all our community members again that your fantasies are not reflective of you as a person - your real life actions are! To further push my point, please enjoy this short, informative video.

The easiest way to build courage and find self-acceptance is through our peers normalizing their kinks. Imagine being in a space with only other macrophiles and microphiles, speaking openly and with passion and pride about their size kink. It might be a bit intimidating to participate at first, but with shame absent, eventually you’d more than likely talk about your kinks too. So, where do these special spaces even exist?

Luckily, our broader community has a yearly in-person convention called SizeCon which is an amazing and extremely validating experience that celebrates size kinksters and provides educational and entertaining workshops and panels geared towards people like us! Although covid has stalled any plans for a 2021 convention, SizeCon is hosting virtual events in the interim - so check it out! Informal meetups have also moved virtually and can be found or organized on sites like ours or other kink related sites like Fetlife.


4. CONSIDER WHO YOU SHARE WITH

One way to find peace and validation is telling others close to you about your kink. Having others you know you can trust to be 100% yourself around is extremely empowering, affirming and can offer some mental relief. Confessing your kink to others is an intimate and vulnerable experience for the majority of us. The most important piece of advice when deciding to ‘come out’ to someone is to first use your own intuition. For example, is your relationship mature enough to know your partner would be open-minded, or are you unsure if they’d leave having dated for only a short time? If coming out to a family member or friend, have they been always supportive of you, or do they enjoy cracking jokes at your expense? Trust your gut! Don’t open up to people who won't respect you or your privacy. Finding others in local kink communities might make friendship building easier too.

Ideally, if there is one person who should know about your kink, itshould be your partner. While there are events now for people like us to meetup in real life, the reality of us ending up in a perfectly corresponding size kink relationship and living happily ever after, is still very unrealistic. Many of us will end up in what we suspect to be ‘normal’ or ‘vanilla’ relationships, and thus predict for ourselves a gloomy, frustrating or heartbroken outlook. For many in this community, that means continued secrecy, even throughout years, decades of marriage.

I challenge that mindset! If you feel like your partner truly cares about you, then don’t make that judgement call for them. It’s unfair to you, and it’s unfair for them. Every partner deserves the truth, and seeing as that sex is an activity that includes them too, you should give them the benefit of the doubt. Who knows, maybe they want to get involved! One of the most popular panels at SizeCon is a discussion on relationships with a panel full of all types of couples. Many of the folks introduced to the community are often happy to be able to share or play along with something that is unique and intimate to them and their partner. Some even find they have kinky, power-dynamic based desires as well, but maybe didn’t see the connection because thematically, their kink is different from yours. We can work with this!


5. BE BRAVE

Now that you’ve decided to come out to your significant other, you’ll need to find your courage. Speak to any macrophile or microphile who’s come out to their partner and engages with them in their size kink, and most will say their bond with their loved one has strengthened considerably. You know that you are more than just your fetish. Your partner, who may not have known about your fetish, is in love with all those other aspects of you too. So, maybe, just maybe, they have enough space in their heart to love this secret part of you as well. Telling them doesn’t change who you are. You were always this person. By telling them, you are unlocking another private door into your heart. And while you might find the idea of selling your perversions to your partner horrifying, they might feel moved by the beautiful gesture of trust in them. This could become something special between the both of you.

I wish I could promise that every coming out story will always result in a happy ending - but that’s not always the case and something you must consider. We can do our best to analyze when is the right time to share with them, but that doesn’t mean that your partner will always be receptive to what you have to offer. And even when you may have an answer, it’s not always so black-and-white. A partner may tell you that they still love you but doesn’t want to participate in a kinky lifestyle at all. Some people live happily as just parents or just romantic partners, but not as sex partners, and that’s OK, but there are factors you need to consider when thinking about your long term happiness.

Maybe you find yourself wanting, relying heavily on porn, or even other people online to scratch your itch. If that bothers you, talk to your partner about it first, tell them how that makes you feel, and see how that makes them feel too. If they’re receptive, they’re always a chance to make it work. If not, then it’s up to you to gauge what your personal limits are. There’s a lot of reasons why people break up, separate or divorce, and a disconnect in sex is a totally reasonable reason why. For some people, living unfulfilled can be a miserable existence. But of course, we all have our own limits.

Some people have other methods to scratch their itch while making their relationships work, for example, seeking professional services from Dominants or submissives, that may not even include nudity, let alone sex. Others may have consensual open or polyamorous relationships. They don’t always need to be sexual in nature.


6. OWN YOUR KINK

Now that you’ve decided to come out, it’s time to actually own your kink. It doesn’t matter if you’ve hooked up with a kinky person or not, I promise you, you will need to sit down and really talk about your kink to make this work. For most of us, the way we find relief in our fantasies is by acting them out through roleplay. I understand for many of us, the idea of asking our partner to participate in ‘adult pretend time’ can be a gut-wrenching ask, but thankfully the concept of roleplay in the bedroom is not as taboo of a subject as it used to be. You may be surprised to find your partner receptive to exploring the idea of roleplay with you! But again, that means you will have to have those honest conversations. That means you will need to tell your husband/boyfriend you want him to suffocate under his giant twitchy asshole. You will need to tell your wife/girlfriend you want her to wear her oversized pajamas and ‘shrink’ down on her knees to service you. Whatever your fantasy is, you will need to share!

For many individuals with fetishes, this period can become rather stressful. You may have come to find sexual conversations frustrating with them. You try and explain, but they’re not getting it, and you wish you didn’t have to explain it again because it’s excruciating! It’s often easier to reminisce about the peaceful times before you came out to your partner and feel regret, or even selfishness for telling them. But I have some food for thought.

See, you and your partner are both equal individuals, each deserving of love. It doesn’t matter if kink is hard for them to grasp - making normal sex appealing can be challenging for you too. Them deciding to do a little roleplay with you shouldn’t be seen as a favor or a chore. To combat that feeling, you should not only encourage yourself to be open and honest, but encourage your partner to be open and honest as well. Try and explore what their fantasies are and include them in your combined roleplay - you’ll find tips on that towards the end!


7. BE PATIENT

Having come out to them and now told them many of your fantasies, you may want to believe things might finally start to click. But unfortunately, things are more than likely not to go that smoothly in the beginning. You may have moments of size-play fun and think “Ah, they finally get it!” and other moments where you think “They have no idea what I want…”. It will take time and a lot of communication, and of course cooperation and a willingness to engage from both parties.

We must always remember that while we might have a complex universe in our minds that caters to our desires, our partner will have no insightinto our inner world, aside from what you decide to share with them. The less information you give them, the more they will rely on their own biases. Maybe that’s a cringy recreation from a character in a size related movie, or a poor attempt at BDSM play. For many people, they’ve never even considered the idea of a tiny person and a Giant person doing anything remotely sexual or romantic, so taking the time to communicate your desires and the motivations for those desires are paramount.

Sometimes doing that verbally can be agonizing, but trust me when I say - do not encourage your partner to google on their own due to your lack of sharing. They might be scared or unsure of what they find! Take control on how you expose them to your fetish and consider writing out texts, snapchats, emails or using other text-based messaging apps to share fantasies. Sharing artwork, videos, stories or other media is always an excellent way to show your partner what you like as well. Make sure to point out the parts that really make you excited! The Xconfessions app is another great resource created by a Sex Therapist, available for Android and Apple devices. It works similar to Tinder, wherein you and your partner swipe left or right to find ‘matches’ in sexy ideas, and those are then pushed to your phone as suggestions of fun things to do together.

Lastly, don’t be disappointed if you don’t progress as quickly as you’d like. It’s very hard to live a kinky lifestyle 24-7, and like any adult, you and your partner both have other responsibilities you need to attend to. Finding harmony between your size kink and your partner will not be something you achieve overnight. For most people, it will take plenty of time, practice, repetitive conversations and actual play until you can start to see the positive change you crave in your relationship.


8. CONSIDER SHARING HOW YOUR KINK AFFECTS YOU

As many of you know, our kink can affect us in many ways, even in ways outside the bedroom or after sex is over. One important consideration is to understand the benefits of after care. When you’ve finished a play session or sex, a submissive person may become VERY emotional. They may cry, breathe heavily, feel faint or need other attention from their Dominant. When I began having sex around 18 years of age, I would get very emotional after sex and never understood why! It was something I was very embarrassed about because I wasn’t actually upset or sad. For a submissive little tiny like myself however, the way we find pleasure is often through very scary situations. After care was a great way for me to find emotional and physical support with my Giant Dominant, to help me come down from the adrenaline rush I’d just experienced. For most couples who engage in power-play, after care is a must!

Another consideration for women specifically is to discuss your submissive needs. You may not know it, but you might be looking for a D/s (Dominant/submissive) style relationship! I myself struggled with a very, very short fuse that is common in a lot of submissive women who have no outlet. For many submissive women, we have certain social expectations of men. However, as our roles become more ‘equal’, statistically, women are still taking on the brunt of the housekeeping and child-raising, adding on more stressful burdens. This has caused a lot of explosive anger from submissive women who often instinctively love to serve and take on a lot, but become frustrated in having to tell their man what to do constantly. Having kink-play outlets for submissive women to let go of that meticulous home, work, and child-rearing responsibilities (among other things) and let their partner be in charge or ‘own’ them for sometime, can help tremendously with this feeling! I myself have not had an outburst in almost 7 years, and I couldn’t be happier. Here’s a nice beginners guide for those interested in a D/s relationships!

This of course is a double-edged sword, and I encourage any submissive person to explain to your partner how your brain works. It’s unfortunate to say, but often submissives like myself can easily be taken advantage of, and in our need to please, we may not always clearly tell our Dominant when we feel they’ve crossed a line.

Sometimes our fantasies can also trigger us negatively in different ways, and that’s important to share with your partner as well. For example, I suffer from size dysphoria. This means that for most of my life I’ve struggled with the idea that my body is just far too large! Since childhood I thought if I were smaller I’d be more beautiful, or popular, interesting or accepted. While being a few inches tall is an absurd beauty standard I will never achieve, I still struggle with these thoughts. While my partner can’t solve this issue for me, he puts an effort into fighting these feelings through verbal and physical affirmations. It really can make a difference!

Last, but certainly not least is understanding how Subspace and Domspace can affect you! While experiences may vary, a submissive may reach a state called Subspace in which she may be completely and utterly enthralled and at the mercy of her Dominant. When I experience Subspace, or “smallspace,” I find myself melting in my husband’s hand, a blubbering zombie too stimulated to even fight back. I often will even go completely limp! While not being a Domme myself, I have no idea what Domspace feels like, but I’ve heard Dominants compare it to having a heightened connection with their submissive, where instincts take over and they feel complete control over their partner.


9. BUILD A FOUNDATION FOR SIZEPLAY

Now that your partner has somewhat of an idea of what turns you on, you may want to look into how others structure their play. After all, size fantasies aren’t fantasies that can actually be reproduced in reality. To find some relief from this fantasy, you may include some roleplay, which can be super sexual or very tame and romantic, in the bedroom and outside of it too. Make sure to discuss with your partner where and when roleplay is appropriate! But before we get into some techniques used for roleplay, we need to understand what foundation we need to build before fully immersing ourselves into scenes.

For many in this community, myself included, the connection to BDSM was not very apparent at first. It took sometime for me to notice the correlation. Giant fingers were like bondage and ropes. My need to be owned and humiliated was not unlike a sexual slave. And the need for discipline and punishment didn’t sound too far removed from a community who is known for whips and paddles. The more I researched, the more I realized pretty much all fetishes have a power-play element to them.

Some reading this may think you have a very fluffy fantasy, but even those who may only have a shrinking fantasy for example, need to understand that there is still power-play in action here. For many of us, just seeing individuals of two very different sizes is enough to trigger this excitement, with the Giant person clearly in the position to take advantage of the tiny person. They don’t even have to be nude, heck, they may not even need to notice the tiny person at all! Coming to terms with and being introspective of your power-play desires can help your sex-game considerbly! Who knows, BDSM might be for you after all.


10. CONSIDER BDSM PRINCIPLES

As mentioned earlier, the BDSM community is a great source of information on how to play out your fantasies in reality. These moments of play are called “Scenes” and don’t necessarily need to involve actual intercourse. While I encourage you to do your own research, before engaging in kink-play, I encourage you to follow the fundamental BDSM principle of Safe, Sane & Consent (SSC) explained below in 3 sections.

  • ⦿ Be Safe!
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      Safe words or signals should be decided on beforehand.
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      Discuss both of your physical and mental limitations.
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      Discuss and practice acts before you start a scene. Doing some research doesn’t hurt either! While the help from a professional Dominant is always best, there are many free resources online that show you how to properly and safely spank, choke, facesit, etc.
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      Be risk aware of play, especially if it could cause injury or worse.
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      Be prepared for an emergency. For example, I very much enjoy my husband choking me “between his fingers”, but he’s made sure he’s CPR certified in case he squeezes a little too hard.
  • ⦿ Be Sane!
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      You are not to practice any scene that may cause harm while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
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      BDSM should not be used as a way to get revenge or vent anger at your partner.
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      Dominants should provide after-care to their submissives to help both of them wind down from their play session.
  • ⦿ Be Consensual!
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      Your scene has been discussed and negotiated before play begins and everyone involved has consented.
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      Tell your partner if they’re approaching your limits by using safewords.
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      Be honest! Misleading your partner is a breach of consent and can seriously hurt the trust between you and your partner.
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      A submissive person may put themselves in a vulnerable position, easy to be taken advantage of. Let your Dominant know your well-being is something you are temporarily entrusting them with. If you are a Dominant, be aware of not abusing your power or neglecting your agreement. She is in your care!

11. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR WORDS

Remember, as you both begin to engage in structured play, let them know how they’re doing! As mentioned earlier, your partner is playing blindly, and they need your feedback to know if they’re doing it “right”. This is even more critical if the partner introduced to your kink is to play your Dominant, and much of the story telling is left up to them. Think about how scary that might be for them! Make sure to keep feedback until after sex, and use positive and encouraging language. If they missed the mark, consider offering constructive criticism or alternative suggestions so it doesn’t seem like you’re just complaining.

As you get comfortable roleplaying with your partner, don’t forget to also let them know outside of roleplay spaces how important they are to you. It’s not uncommon in the size community to hear about insecure partners who think their loved one is only obsessed with their mouth, or only wearing oversized clothing for example. It’s very easy, especially in the beginning to be obsessed with our new found sexual freedom, so make sure to remind your partner that they are more than just a tool to fulfill our fantasies.


12. HELP YOUR PARTNER FIND THEIR OWN VOICE

Building confidence is extremely important! If your partner has decided that they want to explore a kinky lifestyle with you, chances are that they might have a little kinkiness inside them too! And heck, maybe without you knowing, that’s what attracted you to them in the first place! It’s easy to assume that your partner is not kinky because they didn’t approach you with their kinky fantasies, or you feel as if their fantasies are more mainstream than your own.

At the start of my D/s relationship, I often felt that because my husband didn’t want to put the work into being a Dominant that he was not kinky. But I honestly wasn’t looking hard enough at what turned him on. His fantasies dealt directly with stripping women of their freedoms and rights, and using them for his own selfish, sexual, free-use desires. I’m sure you can see some of the parallels with shrunken women fantasies out there. He cared less of the journey in obtaining said pussy, and more of the outcome - a pretty lady at work, the gym, etc. that he could take for himself without asking. I eventually realized I could work with this, and we’ve tried mixing his aesthetic and narrative preferences with the rough housing foreplay I need as a tiny submissive. Without even knowing it, we were actually a really good match! We only had to refine the edges of our puzzle pieces to fit a little better.

Sometimes your partner may actually have very strong kinks, and that’s super amazing, but can also be disappointing if you feel you might not be a sexual match. However, please consider what may seem like obvious Dominant or submissive behavior for you might not be so for your partner. We all see kink from different perspectives, and something that may seem like a dominant behavior, like someone growing for example, might not be seen as a dominant behavior in another fetish like Expansion, where becoming so big you’re imobile or stuck is seen generally as submissive behavior. Make sure you understand each other’s kinky motivations and see how you can combine them in play!

Help your partner find resources and other tools to help them in their Dominant or Submissive journey. If they’re not quite getting what you want from their Giant or tiny performance, or your relationship outside the bedroom, consider trying to explain their character's motivation behind certain activities. This of course works both ways, as you should try and consider what sort of Giant or tiny your partner wants in response. For example, I’d often defer to a state of subspace and just ‘take’ whatever it was my Giant husband did to me. This became a little boring for him, and with some clear communication, I found out he preferred a tiny who put up more of a fight and was more verbal.

Making size related roleplay fun for both parties will set you up for future success. In time sexual association can even help make sizeplay sexy for your partner!


13. TRY AND BE THE BEST GIANT AND/OR TINY YOU CAN BE!

As mentioned before, it’s important to be open to your partner trying new things with you, but it’s also equally important to put the effort back into it! It can be VERY scary to roleplay, but being equally involved is really important! Remember, to suspend belief = relief! If you’re thinking how ridiculous your roleplay is, you’re not focusing on your partner, and you’re being unfair to both of you. As the one who invited their partner into kink play, you must do your part and always be present. The more confident your partner is in playing with you, the more they may even be comfortable trying things they weren’t comfortable doing in the past.

Set sexual expectations, preferably through a contract so that there isn’t any miscommunication or disappointment between your and your partner. A BDSM style contract may not only help with bedroom expectations, but help set rules and limits for those seeking a D/s style relationship. A contract may also outline duties for both Dom and sub, discipline for rule violations, rewards for good behavior, etc.

Whether you play Giants and tinies outside of the bedroom or not, learning your partner’s language of love can help with figuring out each other's romantic expectations. It’s also great for bonding!

five languages of love

Most of us may consider all 5 of these points very important to us, but it’s natural that we may have preferences. Luckily for my husband and I, we both share Quality Time as our favored language of love. And it’s true, for the past 15+ years I can scarcely think of a day I haven’t spent with him. Many of our friends and family even joke we’re glued at the hip. Unfortunately for me, my idea of quality time includes things like talking, touching, doing an activity together, etc. My husband however is content with me just being near him. So, make sure to explain what your needs are when reviewing this list above with your partner, as this list can be very vague.

You may not have love languages that line up, and that’s OK too! My next favored language of love is physical touch, while my husband’s is service. And while it can be sweet for my husband to worry and fret over me, making me coffee to cheer me up or bringing me a blanket to keep me warm, I realized I needed to up my service game to show him I love him back, and also needed to redirect his need to service me so I didn’t feel like a spoiled brat. Thankfully, without any such conversation, my husband realized how much I enjoy touch, and instead used that as a way to provide his time and care to me. There’s always a way to make it work!

Lastly, to be the best Giant or tiny possible, you’ll want to set you and your partner up for success! This means being consistent with the time you invest into your kinky relationship. For some people who have children or live with roommates or other family members, this can be extremely difficult. It may seem unsexy, but planning a time for play is a MUST for busy folks. If you can’t find enough privacy in your home, consider booking a hotel room or leaving your children at their grandparents for a night. With covid, things have definitely become more complicated, but I’m sure you and your partner can come up with a solution, even if it’s only a once a month occasion. It’s important to have something to look forward to!

If sticking to your scene plans seems difficult, or you feel like you both get distracted during scenes, make sure to decide on the scene before you start. Even describing the scene and characters right before you begin, even if it’s just a short 1-2 sentences long, can help you both keep focus during your session.


14. EMBRACE YOUR CREATIVITY TO LIVE OUT THE FANTASY

While our fantasies don’t live in reality, there are many ways couples play out and explore these fantasies in reality. These suggestions may not work for everyone, but hopefully they’ll give you the inspiration needed to find something that works for you and your partner!

⦿ Using Perspective

One of the easiest types of sizeplay to master is using perspective to your benefit. While having a taller partner might make things a little easier, using perspective can even help a shorter person seem like they’re towering above you. One of the most common methods used in the community is one where the Giant partner stands, straddling over the tiny partner. This can be used as a quick, non-sexual declaration of size dominance over a partner. However, many in the community also use this position for masturbation purposes, unaware, crush or foot play among other things. This position may also provide the Dominant with the extra height he needs to feel more confident in his role. Even though the submissive laying on the floor or bed has not actually shrunk, she nevertheless is at a physical disadvantage in defending herself from a calculated “Giant” tease from above.

Another example of using perspective, is one of my favorites my husband utilizes, which is to imitate growth. To initiate a short scene between us, he may without warning, corner me in a kabedon-like style, both of his hands on the wall behind me, as he begins to tiptoe slowly, looming greedily above me, appearing as if he’s growing! I often instinctually ‘shrink’ in response from the intimidation, sliding my back down against the wall. The best part is when he asks “What’s wrong?” with cocky, faux concern, acting as if nothing novel is happening. It’s very sexy!

Another use of perspective my husband and I utilize is giving him control to "shrink" me at will. My husband may command me to "shrink" for him, wherein I’d find myself kneeling next to him for a romantic pet or quality time. When his command sounds lustful, him "shrinking" me could imply he wants me to kneel before him as he unbuckles his pants for a blowjob. At my new "shrunken" height, I feel helpless to fight back and happy to oblige - it’s quite the fun feeling for a submissive!

⦿ Using Sex-Friendly P.O.V. (Point-of-View)

While sexual scenes can easily be played without intercourse, I get a lot of questions from other size kinksters eager to learn about how they can combine these two activities. Obviously, the example in the previous section, of a Giant towering above his tiny partner might make intercourse a little difficult, so he will need to be creative with the POV he’s producing for his submissive, while also having sex with her. Having so many things to consider can be really taxing on a Dominant, so the submissive should not take it personally if he doesn’t climax - he’s trying to focus on her. If this is the case, providing the Dominant with separate time to service him might be more effective.

One of the most common, safe, and sex-friendly POVs a Dominant can preform is opening his mouth. Voraphilia is very popular in the size kink community, and having a Dominant pretend he is going to eat his submissive is a pretty easy concept for most newbies to kink to understand. This POV can easily be achieved in a missionary or seashell position with the Dominant always on top. It can also be achieved in a Doggy or Flatiron position, but the submissive will need to turn their head towards the Dominant’s open mouth. The Dominant forcing the submissive to look can also be sexy - just be careful with her neck! While you’ll want to have a certain distance between you and your partner so things don’t look too blurry, a Dominant can get rather close to his submissive, surrounding much of her POV with his hungry maw. This is a great opportunity to include other forms of humiliation, like burping, drooling, spitting, eating, etc.

When done properly, hands can also be a really great tool for forcing a perspective. The submissive can only see with their eyes, so a Dominant imagining their submissive's head as a representation of the tiny they are playing with, they can achieve some really interesting POV for their submissive. My husband for example, may place his open palm right over my face as we have sex - enough to feel trapped but also enough to see between his fingers, him looking at me. Being careful with my neck, he may also put his hand over my turned head, sandwiching my eyes and ears between his hand and the pillow. Because of that, it becomes very difficult to hear his muffled words, causing a serious ‘trapped’ under his body vibe, which enhances the POV!

Last but not least are POVs that may need extra research and practice before performing. Having a Dominant on top during sex can help enhance his strength by letting his weight and gravity imobilize his submissive. Using POV, a Giant can easily roleplay crushing a tiny by choking her or pinning her down with his arms to provide the pressure to fool her brain. This can also be done with facesitting techniques which will require some balance and leg strength to keep your partner safe. Protip: Find something like a headboard or wall to lean on if you get tired! Also, very important, it is imperative that when practicing any technique that keeps someone from breathing, you are not just aware of their safe words, or an agreed on ‘tap-out’ touch, but also keenly attuned to their facial responses to know if they are in actual distress. Dominants should make sure to check-in often if they cannot see their submissive. I highly recommend any Dominant engaging in breathe play to consider learning CPR.

⦿ Using Clothing

Clothing is another fun way to assert dominance or set a size scene. Many Giants for example will utilize oversized clothing to make their tinies appear as if they're shrinking. My husband doesn't care much for baggy clothing, but does enjoy clothing he can easily rip off, which I know some other Giant men enjoy too. Pantyhose is a cheap, accessible option if you or your Dominant enjoy destroying clothing for either shrink or growth scenarios. There are other cheap fabrics that rip easily, as well as reusable tearaway pants that have buttons lining the side of each leg.

Dress-up in general can also be a fun activity to share between Dominant and submissive. I very much love when my husband gives me his thoughts on how I should present myself. It may not always be a request to wear an entire outfit - it could be a small detail like an accessory, a set of undergarments, or a request to style my hair a certain way. As a submissive, it personally makes me happy to be visually pleasing for him as well as following through on a task he’s assigned me.

⦿ Using Your Body

Body worship is commonplace in kinky play and especially so for those with a size fetish. And while I could argue this may be more pronounced in macrophiles over microphiles, generally speaking, most fetishists want to be able to explore and be intimate with every corner of their partner's body. For Giants this may be about bodily control over another person, for tinies it might be about exploring intimate areas, usually through explicit permission to worship/explore or "forced" bullying in an effort to be humiliated by their Dominant.

While it is commonplace for macrophiles to be infatuated with “private parts,” intimate parts of the body go beyond just commonly sexualized genitalia, anuses and breasts. For tinies especially, this can mean exploring a Giant's mouth, armpits, feet, etc. In polite society, these body parts might not be seen as typical areas to show affection towards, hence the excitement for the submissive tiny to explore them - they are taboo! Furthermore, it can make a submissive feel inferior to their Dominant to not be treated as an equal person in polite society, which can be an arousing feeling for many submissives.

⦿ Using Smell

Being gigantic around a tiny, you would assume that smells might be more pronounced, so it's no surprise that bodily smells also play a big role in sizeplay for many tinies who yearn to be overwhelmed any way possible by their Giant. You may be surprised to see how many submissive women out there enjoy the smell of men's armpits, crotches, and feet, among other places. If you are a Dominant who enjoys using your smell to tease or torture your submissives, make sure to ask your partner what they think first, as a person who is grossed-out easily isn't always a clear indication that they are turned off by bodily smells during sex. Make sure to start off slow, as your submissive may have preferences. She might be comfortable with your underwear tied around her face, but not stuffed in her mouth. She might be comfortable with you demanding that she smell your armpit, but not with being forced face-first by you into your armpit. ALWAYS discuss and negotiate your play beforehand.

For the submissives who are shy about sharing this secret with your partner - I completely sympathize! If your partner has not on their own tried to use their smell in play or sex, in can be very intimidating to bring up your interest on your own. Whether that be sweat, feet, cum, urine, flatulence, or what he had for lunch, these are intimate spaces a submissive may very eagerly want to explore but feel embarrassed about due to societal norms. What submissives hope to get from their Dominant is their blessing to be intimate with these spaces.

Because of these very societal norms, If your partner is open to the idea, it’s really important to keep encouraging him that what he’s doing is acceptable and wanted behavior. They may have their own hang-ups over their own body odor, and explaining to them that you enjoy it whether they perceive it as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ doesn’t matter to you. Smell can actually have a very powerful effect on the brain during sex, and using it as a tool for humiliation can be very effective at enhancing orgasms.

⦿ Using Touch

Touch can also have a big impact on sexual arousal, and thankfully with some very basic tools, even touch from a normal sized partner can provide the Giant or tiny sensations you are craving. One of the most accessible tools many people have laying around their home is a blindfold. Keeping someone from seeing their surroundings can help tremendously in spiriting them away into another reality.

My husband may use his foot or fist to represent his proding fingertip. Submissives could use their fingers to ‘walk along’ their partner’s body to simulate a tiny taking a stroll. It can also be done with a hand job as well, and other light, one-handed touches. Being blindfolded also allows us to recreate reality. For example, a hardy slap on the ass could be described by the Dominant as a tiny flick. Without seeing the stimuli, it’s easier for the submissive to suspend belief. Eye-masks also make monologuing and building anticipation easier as well.

There are plenty of other tools out there that provide interesting touch sensations like whips, paddles, candle wax, electro prods and so much more! The shower is also a fun place to get certain touch sensations in for submissives. A wet, full-body groping from a Dominant can feel like Giant tongue getting very personal. A gushing hot shower head can feel like a humiliating cum or piss bath.

⦿ Using Demands

If your or your partner are into bondage or caging, the Dominant would naturally want to do it by force or authority. Unfortunately, because you and your partner are roughly similar in size, some size scenarios may be awkward to play out in reality. Some methods of working around this is by using demands. Some submissives might not be eager to submit at first, so starting your play with the submissive already in some light bondage (i.e. handcuffs) might give you the advantage needed as the Dominant to easily put her in her place. In the end, this is what we submissive women are craving, to be the loser in this battle with our Dominant. Using demands can be a useful, touch-free tool that can also be used in conjunction with blindfolds.

Another tool to help in defying reality is erotic hypnosis. And no, I’m not talking about taking out a swirly wheel and asking your partner repeatedly if they’re feeling sleepy. There are techniques used by the Hypno-kink community that help submissives reach a temporary altered state of mind. Having reached subspace many times myself, I could see how a submissive who truly lets go mentally for their Dominant can be persuaded to believe just about anything. Including momentarily that I am only a few inches tall. Or that I must stand still as I’m tied up with “dental floss”. Or that I will be crushed to death if I don’t follow my Dominants directions. I don’t have much experience with Hypno-kink myself, but I encourage you to do some research if this is a technique that piques your interest.

⦿ Using Technology to Immerse Yourself

While technology might not be exactly where we need it to be to fulfil our deepest fantasies, there is some tech out there that can at least scratch the itch. One of my favorite technologies is Virtual Reality. Nowadays VR technology has become more affordable, with sets like the Oculus Quest costing less than $300. With Virtual Reality you can put yourself in Giant or tiny avatars throughout several free to play games, including one of the most popular: VRchat. While the technology is limited, the effect can really trick your brain into thinking you have a Giant or tiny person standing before you.

Although not much use for tinies, Augmented Reality apps can be a fun tool for Giants to play out their fantasies too. On the flipside, 360 cameras may not offer Giants much, but for a submissive, it can fully immerse them in their shrunken world.

Believe it or not, phone calls and photos can also be a convincing way to play out your fantasy too. For example, some Giants like to speak to their partners with their phone in their shirt pocket. They can easily imagine the voice coming from the phone as their partner sits snugly in their pocket. Photo sharing apps are also an excellent way to trick your partner into believing they are Giant or tiny. POV photos and videos that make the viewer feel small or big are very easily obtained without any special effects or filters. If you’re worried about saving such media, the SnapChat app will delete these for you after you’ve seen them.


In conclusion, fight for love, because you deserve it! Thank you for reading, and I hope you find this information useful and a helpful start to your kinky journey.

Good luck, and may your naughty wishes come true!

- Jitensha

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